XfinityTV.com is the place to be for all of your bug-eatin’, back-stabbin’, “Survivor” coverage. During the season we’ll have insightful weekly Power Rankings from “Survivor: Kaoh Rong” champ Michele Fitzgerald and Shirin Oskooi, exit interviews, and full episode recaps. Follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute updates.
We kick things off with a pair of boats raging across the Fijian coast. Each boat is filled to the brim with people who either love participation trophies or hate them.
We meet the Millennials first. (Because you know they wouldn’t wait.)
Taylor tells us that he’s the “Peter Pan type” and he’ll never grow up. I had that attitude too, but I traded it in for a mortgage.
Next up is professional gamer Mari. She refers to “Survivor” as “the game of games.” I can respect that.
Then, Zeke tells us how much he hates Twitter. (Ahem…@zekerchief)
From there it’s time to meet Gen-X. They’ll probably be bragging about their 401Ks and dental plans.
Chris explains that Gen-Xers actually listen and get up after they’re knocked down. He also intends to keep any Nerf balls that end up on his lawn.
Sunday is blown away by youngsters who play video games and take seven years to go to school. Oh, c’,mon Sunday. I’m a Gen-Xer and I did all of that stuff.
David explains how long it took him to become a writer. He thinks Millennials wouldn’t take that long to accomplish their dream, they’d just find a new dream.
Finally a handsome guy in a baseball hat, puka shell necklace, and baseball hat says something about…
39 Days, 20 People, One “Survivor” Blog
The boats arrive at a beach and each player is given a package with a buff in it. Ironically, the orange buffs go to people who are wearing orange clothing and the purple buffs go to people wearing purple clothing. Amazing.
Let’s take a look at these tribes…
The Vanua Tribe – Millennials (wearing orange)
Adam – 25, Homeless Shelter Manager
Figgy – 23, Bartender
Hannah – 24, Barista
Jay – 27, Real Estate Agent
Mari – 31, Professional Gamer
Michaela – 25, Vacation Club Sales
Michelle – 28, Missionary Recruiter
Taylor – 24, Ski Instructor
Will – 18, High School Student
Zeke – 28, Asset Manager
The Takali Tribe – Generation-X (wearing purple)
Bret – 42, Police Sergeant
Chris – 38, Trial Lawyer
CeCe – 39, Insurance Adjuster
David – 42, Television Writer
Jessica – 37, Assistant District Attorney
Ken – 33, Model
Lucy – 42, Dietician
Paul – 52, Boat Mechanic
Rachel – 37, Recruiting Director
Sunday – 45, Youth Pastor
Once they’re divided, Probst spills the beans about the season’s theme. They all seem amused. He asks if anyone wants to fess up to being the Millennial born in 1997, and Will puts down his blankey and raises his hand.
Seriously?! 1997?! The shirt I’m wearing right now is older than him.
Then, Paul admits to being born in 1963 and I feel a little bit better.
Probst asks Paul what it’s like to now be a part of the older establishment. Paul says this his generation didn’t get participation trophies.
OK, who had six minutes in the Participation Trophy Reference Pool? Pick up your prize. (Ironically, the people who lose this pool don’t get anything.)
Quick Aside: I’m smack dab in the middle of Jeff Probst’s definition of Generation X, and everyone in my t-ball league got a trophy.
CeCe then does her best to immediately alienate half of the game by saying that Millennials don’t work for anything.
Adam disagrees with CeCe and says the immunity challenges will show how hard the Millennials are willing to work to get ahead.
Reward Challenge Time: The players will dash around an area picking up items for camp. Some of the items are an either/or situation, meaning they can’t take both. Whatever they get back to their mat is property of their tribe.
The Survivors are ready…and they go.
During the chaotic scramble, Jessica finds a mystery envelope and pockets it before anyone notices.
Gen-X chooses fishing gear over a cage of chickens. The Millennials made the opposite choice. Whataya wanna bet they name one of those chickens “Chicken McChickenface.”
Before Probst sends them back to camp, he encourages them to work on their shelter immediately because some bad weather is headed their way.
Over at Millennial Manor, the kids are hard at work putting together their shelter. Who’s lazy now?
It looks like Taylor and Jay are immediately hitting it off. I’d be OK with a Joaquin/Rodney-level bromance from those two. High comedy. They also seem to be bringing Figgy and Michelle into their group as part of a hot-person alliance. A four-person cool kid alliance worked out really well in Caramoan if I remember correctly. (Ahem…)
Later on, Figgy wants to name one of the chickens, but she doesn’t want to name it Tai because then she wouldn’t want to kill it. Oh, so name it Philip.
Once the important chicken naming process is over, Figgy, Jay, and Taylor name themselves “The Triforce.” Personally I think that nickname Hy-rules. (I’ll see myself out.)
Hannah notices the pretty people gravitating to each other and is rightfully concerned. She tries to make inroads with Michelle.
Meanwhile at the old folks home, Paul gives a pep talk about how the Gen-Xers were going to win because they’re thinkers and workers. Then, Ken rains on his parade by saying they shouldn’t underestimate the youngsters. Way to bring the mood down, Mr. Model.
When the tribe starts working on the shelter, Jessica sneaks out to read her clue. Apparently it’s a “Legacy Advantage” that will help her if she’s still around on Day 36. If she’s voted out, she must will it to another player.
Later on, Rachel and Dave butt heads a bit while building a shelter. The main argument centers around how long six inches is. I’m going to leave that alone.
Then we finally get to spend some time with David. He is a treat. He holds his ears while bamboo is being chopped, he freaks out when Kenny Amazing brings him a bug, and then he leads everyone to think that someone has found an idol, when they clearly haven’t.
David tries to start an immediate alliance with Bret and Chris. They seem to like him, but they’re freaked out by how hard and fast he’s pushing.
Back at the Millennial camp, the weather is clearly starting to pick up. So much so that it blows over their tribe flag. That’s never happened before. Their shelter isn’t in much better shape. But, rather than fixing it, they decide to go swimming. Don’t worry, they can complain to their teachers and get to do some shelter extra credit.
Will thinks the shelter is the worst in “Survivor” history which leads me to believe that he’s never seen “Survivor: All-Stars.”
The storm hits and it is a doozy. Welcome to the show, kids.
We meet up with Gen-X the next day and it is still pouring. CeCe refers to it as “a night of hell.”
Treemail arrives with a tarp and a letter from Probst. The note says that the storm is going to last longer, so they can borrow the tarp for a little while as a “gesture of goodwill.” I like the idea that Jeff went into his garage to rustle up a couple of tarps. Send them a casserole too.
Actually, that storm must’ve been horrific, because when have the producers ever offered anyone a “gesture of goodwill.”
The Millennials receive a similar message and are hard at work when Jeff shows up in a boat. That’s never good. He informs them that the storm has been upgraded to a cyclone and they’ve made the call to evacuate both tribes.
Wow. I know some people will have a problem with the evacuation, but you can’t put peoples’ lives at risk.
CUT TO: Footage of the cyclone destroying both beaches. Yikes.
In fact, when the Gen-Xers return the next day, they learn that a large tree has crushed their shelter.
But, using their Gen-Xy attitudes, they get back to work building their shelter. Everyone except for David, that is, who goes on an idol hunt. And not a very stealthy idol hunt as everyone sees him doing it.
Bret, Chris, Dave, and Jessica talk about reigning him in, which to me sounds like they want to work with him.
Things have a different tone over at Millennial beach where Zeke takes over as the foreman of the shelter committee. Not only that, but he builds a fire. Atta boy! The Zeke shall inherit!
Elsewhere, other people are noticing that the Triforce is working together. Hannah and Mari have a chat about it and dub their alliance the “Freaks and Geeks.”
Honestly, naming alliances is the only good thing to come from “Big Brother.” I fully support this.
Immunity Challenge Time: The teams will race under a wooden maze and untie two clubs. From there, they’ll continue through an obstacle course. However, they can use the clubs to smash masks and open up shortcuts through the obstacles. Buuuuuut…if they use the shortcuts, they’ll have to complete a larger puzzle at the end. First tribe to complete their puzzle wins immunity and flint.
We start off and Gen-X jumps out to an early lead when Chris blocks the Millennials from getting their clubs. Gen-X takes both of the shortcuts, which is ironic considering how they’ve been describing the Millennials.
The Millennials struggle through the first obstacle, so they decide to take the second shortcut.
David and Rachel are the first to start on their puzzle, but their puzzle will be larger than the Millennial puzzle.
David and Rachel eventually tag out to Jessica and Sunday, but it doesn’t matter because Figgy and Michelle destroy the puzzle and win it for the Millennials. Which is a good thing, because if they lost their parents would’ve raised hell at the parent/teacher conferences.
As we head to commercial, Chris tells us that Rachel and David are “on the hatchet” because of their puzzle performance. So, do you put something on the hatchet and then hit it with the chopping block?
Politicking around camp does center around David or Rachel. It seems like Bret, Jessica, and Sunday want to get rid of Rachel. But, Bret is worried that David has the idol.
David is freaked out because nobody will talk to him. He approaches Jessica and tells her that he’ll vote anyway she wants him to. She wants to know if he has an idol and he swears he doesn’t. She says that’s too bad because she would have made a deal with him if he did. Aw…that’s mean.
Later CeCe and Rachel seem to form some kind of little alliance because CeCe is in trouble. Wait, she is? Why?
That night at Tribal Council, everyone dips their torch into the campfire because fire represents something something…
Also, something must be wrong with my TV because it looks like Probst’s blue shirt is white.
Apparently Jessica is in bad shape because she has a bacterial infection in both of her eyes. Could be worse, could have a bug in your ear.
David says the last few days have felt like a year, but he doesn’t want to go home.
CeCe hates that someone has to be the first to go.
Chris thinks everyone, including himself, is paranoid and thinks they are going home.
Rachel knows she’s in trouble because everyone is being unresponsive. She also worries that she’s been too upfront and may have hurt peoples’ feelings.
Jessica believes there are idols and the game and she thinks people have been looking for them…especially David.
David knows he looks guilty and he wants to prove that he can be loyal.
Voting Time: No votes are shown. Huh…
JPro tallies and returns. We’ve got one vote for David, one vote for Rachel, one vote for Sunday, one vote for CeCe, one vote for Rachel, one vote for CeCe, one vote for Rachel, one vote for CeCe, one vote for Rachel, and the first person eliminated from “Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen-X” is…Rachel.
Huh…so why was CeCe on the outs? Or did they just need to split it and she was lowest on the totem pole? Interesting.
Verdict: You know why I’m excited for this season? Because there are several people to root for; Zeke is adorable, Taylor is a fun goof, David is a likable trainwreck, Hannah is a dork queen, Adam is a superfan who doesn’t feel the need to reference the show every two seconds, and Michaela is my secret “Survivor” crush. Can’t wait for more.
Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes